That Depression Got Fucked Up

Jason Wrapped – 2023 Year in Review With 2023 well behind, I wanted to take time to run through my last year.

I was in the worst spot anyone could have imagined and year ago. I felt “punished” for feeling like I wanted to end my life. I sought help and was put in the worst possible hell. I was kept for a week. Away from friends and family, and as it turned out friends and family happened to be what would help bring me out this deep and dark depression. I had medical professionals battle over which meds I should take and the direction of my care. It was filled with a power-hungry doctor who was out of touch with modern medicine against the good of people who had my best interest at heart.

As soon as I was released from what was like prison to me, I felt like I was starting over. Nothing else mattered but getting me the help. I needed to be brought back to a more balanced state. I was given resources by those around me and made the best decision for me and chose 6 hours of therapy a day for two months. I learned a lot about myself during this time. II started writing, which has given my support team insight into what really goes on with my feelings. With the writing came a level of awareness that I think surprised many around me. I felt good about getting my thoughts out of my head with no judgements. I was in a safe space. When I finished treatment, I took a vacation to Disney world and things felt like they couldn’t have been better (they did).

As the Spring ended and Summer started, I found myself trying to figure out my next step. I interviewed for jobs but with no such luck as it didn’t turn into anything. I decided to take a Summer for my mental health and become a camp counselor at a local day camp. It was the best decision I could’ve made for myself. I helped 10 five-year-old boys have a great summer. I taught them so many new skills and even how to swim. I showed up at 7:30am and left at 5pm every day. I found myself learning how to stick to regimented schedule. Doing the same thing every day and week, reinforcing my best habits. I worked hard and was recognized for this time and again. It was a great summer and I needed it. My goal was to build on the good vibes I created in the Spring, I did, and it sure paid off.

With this new outlook, I started to look at jobs. I found some myself in some final round interviews at various companies, but nothing came of it. After a couple months of figuring out my next move I landed the absolute best job for me. I am working for a company that gives me the feeling of being values everyday. For the last 4 months I have been told I am a valuable part of the team. Stress is well managed as it seamlessly comes and goes. I found a great opportunity and jumped on it.

I had the worst start to a new year anyone could’ve had imagined. It has turned into me having the exact opposite start this year. I feel so ready for anything that comes my way. I will play mental jui-jitsu with anything that wants to fuck with me. I am well equipped to fight back and find the good in any situation. I am resilient. I am confident. I am me.

Here’s the worst start to 2023 and absolutely fucking up that depression. On to 2024.